DeLanee's Story

10 years ago, Becky and Tommy, were blessed to be pregnant with their second child. Shortly thereafter they learned that they were going to be parents to a little girl, but the probability of their daughter living for very long was extremely low. Their daughter was diagnosed with a condition called Dandy-Walker Cyst. The doctors believed that their baby girl would deteriorate and pass away during pregnancy, but much to their surprise DeLanee developed until 28 weeks gestation when she was delivered and lived for three hours. As you can imagine, these 3 hours was precious time that they spent as a family with their daughter taking pictures, bathing, dressing and holding her until she passed away in their arms. Upon DeLanee's passing, the nurses brought the family a box to put their daughter’s belongings in to take home with them. Because DeLanee was born in January the nurses were able to find a leftover Christmas box. That Christmas box became extremely special to them and they clung to it and the contents inside that held their daughter’s precious belongings as they left the hospital without their baby. It was because of this box that the inspiration for Lanee’s Legacy began. . .

Monday, January 10, 2011

"Loops for Logan"

One of the best parts about being involved with Lanee's Legacy is that we get the opportunity to meet amazingly people who are strong, who care and have big hearts who want to help. Marlo Alder is one of these people. I met Marlo in May of last year when she contacted me and shared her heartbreaking story with me. Marlo's story is exactly the reason why this organization exists. Our mission and purpose is to ensure that parents don't have experiences similar to her's. Since meeting Marlo, we have cried together, planned together, worked together, laughed together and planned some more! She is an amazing person that has had an incredible loss, had a less than perfect experience in the hospital at the time of her loss, but has turned her grief into something good that has helped others.

I'd like to share a little bit of Marlo's story by doing so in her own words. This was Marlo's first e-mail to me:

My name is Marlo Alder and I have followed your blog for some time now. I lost my baby back in November at TMC hospital in Tucson. My experience was so hard, I had HELLP syndrome at 17 weeks. They had to take our baby, we found out that we were having a baby boy just hours before we had him. What makes this harder is that we had done invitro to have this our third baby. Well, long story short, because we had lost the baby they had me go to the women's center to recover for 2 days. It was the most awful experience. I felt forgotten, alone {My husband was there, and was awesome!!}, and that nobody cared that I had just lost my baby. They gave me a box that had a bear and some papers about how to grieve. We didnt take any pictures, and did nothing special. We had no idea what to do. So I am writing you and asking if there is anything I can do in my area, so that people don't have to go through, what I had to. I live in Pima which is by Safford. The hospital is Mt. Graham. It's a small town and I don't know if there is any program here. I didn't deliver here, so I am not sure. I think what you are doing is so touching. I admire you and your love. Let me know. Thanks, Marlo.

Marlo did NOT receive one of Lanee's Legacy boxes. She did not have any items to help her capture precious memories with her son. She wasn't even given the opportunity to see him. She was caught in a whirlwind, not doing physically well herself and didn't have anything to help. When she first shared her experience with me, my heart broke. I'd never met her before, but I just wanted to reach out, grab her and hug her.

As our conversations continued, she told me how she was determined to ensure that no other mom had an experience such as her's. We planned a box making night in her area and left those boxes for her to deliver to her local hospital (Mt. Graham Medical Center). She has already felt her efforts come full circle as she has had friends experience a loss. How amazing for her to know that because of Logan and her efforts, those friends have been able to feel the love that she had for them by helping to create the boxes to ensure they were available for them when needed. What an amazing thing she has done!

Here's some pictures of our box making night in Pima, Arizona back in September, 2010:

It was an awesome turnout! One of our biggest groups to do boxes with. Not only did she have the women from her church group there, but the nursing department from her local college was there too. We felt so blessed to be a part of this night and to meet such amazing people!

Although her story is heartbreaking, her son, Logan, has had a tremendous effect on her life. Marlo is full of faith and Logan remains a big part of their family. She has turned her experience into something good by helping others and has made sure that Lanee's Legacy's boxes are now in the two hospitals she was in with the hope that no other mother will have to experience what she did.

Don't think that her story ends there! She has also organized a fundraiser in her town where the proceeds of what is earned will benefit Lanee's Legacy. I told you she's amazing, didn't I?!?
On January 22, 2010, there will be a charity roping called "Loops for Logan" that will be held at the Alder arena in Pima, Arizona. For those of you who are not familiar with what a "roping" is - - its a cowboy thing! Think two guys, each on a horse, roping a steer for the fastest time.

Marlo and her Husband are country people (who just so happen to be some of my favorite kind of people) and when she was thinking of how she could help raise funds for Lanee's Legacy's boxes, she thought of something that would fit into her life, something she knew about and would work for her! I love it!! I can't wait to attend this event and be a part of this celebration of Logan, who he is and the amazing Mother he has in planning and coordinating something so great for the benefit of others!
In the meantime, if you'd like to help out with a box making we have 2 opportunities left in January.
January 20th - Suprise 1st Ward, 14916 N Sarival Avenue, Suprise, Arizona @ 7:00 p.m.
January 25th - Gilbert 9th Ward, 1150 E. Guadalupe, Gilbert, Arizona @ 7:00 p.m.
Feel free to come and help out. Any donations you bring will be greatly appreciated!


Kami said...

So glad she was able to get boxes in her area!

I am so excited for the box making night in my ward in Surprise!

csrussell said...

I am Marlo's Sister in law and I do have to say she is an amazing woman. She just LOVES kids and would love to have a big family of her own but since she can't she has spoiled her 2 kids with all of her love and she even has a heart big enough to give love and attention to her nieces and nephews, they all love Aunt LoLo. I hope we have a big turn out to "Loops for Logan" so there can be many boxes made from it.