DeLanee's Story

10 years ago, Becky and Tommy, were blessed to be pregnant with their second child. Shortly thereafter they learned that they were going to be parents to a little girl, but the probability of their daughter living for very long was extremely low. Their daughter was diagnosed with a condition called Dandy-Walker Cyst. The doctors believed that their baby girl would deteriorate and pass away during pregnancy, but much to their surprise DeLanee developed until 28 weeks gestation when she was delivered and lived for three hours. As you can imagine, these 3 hours was precious time that they spent as a family with their daughter taking pictures, bathing, dressing and holding her until she passed away in their arms. Upon DeLanee's passing, the nurses brought the family a box to put their daughter’s belongings in to take home with them. Because DeLanee was born in January the nurses were able to find a leftover Christmas box. That Christmas box became extremely special to them and they clung to it and the contents inside that held their daughter’s precious belongings as they left the hospital without their baby. It was because of this box that the inspiration for Lanee’s Legacy began. . .

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Date Night is BACK!!!

Last year we offered a date night giveaway to those who supported us. We brought it back again this year because who doesn't need an evening away from the kiddos. . .and if your anything like me it seems like you only get a night out about once a year anyway! So, not only is it back, but it is bigger and better than last year!!

I am so excited to offer this promotion (and will be super jealous of whoever wins it too)! I've had the opportunity to eat at The Capital Grille a few times (only on special occasions) and it is AMAZING!! The service is phenomenal, the food is the best you'll ever taste and you'll feel like the most spoiled couple in the world when you leave! If you haven't tried it, it is an absolute must and now is your chance! The gift certificate is for $100.00!! We are also throwing in a pair of tickets to the Cinemark Movie Theaters as well!

To get entered to win, it's simple. For every $10.00 you spend (breakfast tickets or donations) your name will be entered into our drawing. So, if you donate $100.00 your name will be entered 10 times. You must buy your tickets or donate starting now between next Tuesday, November 2nd at midnight.

Good luck everybody and if you win please be sure and eat a piece of coconut cream pie for me. . .it's to die for!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Introducing our Guest Emcee - Kevin Burdick

I'm so excited about our guest emcee this year and couldn't wait to tell you all about it! Not only will he keep our event moving and fun (seriously. . .he's hilarious), but happens to be a national recording artist who will also be performing for us! Yeah!

Kevin Burdick lost his daughter, Dempsey Burdick, in May, 2003 during open heart surgery to correct a birth defect. He knows first hand the heartache that comes from the loss of a child and I think it will be so great to have a Father's perspective to offer. He has an awesome foundation he created in memory of his daughter where he assists families in purchasing headstones for their children who otherwise would be unable to do so. How cool is that??

Dempsey Burdick:

He wrote a song in memory of his daughter called "Too Good For This World" that will be such a a treat for all of you to have the pleasure of listening to live at the breakfast. I can't wait for all of you to hear it. We are so grateful to Kevin for adding to our event in such a big way. A HUGE thank you to him!

So the questions is. . .HAVE YOU GOT YOUR TICKETS YET?? With just over 2 weeks until pancake flippin' time we are working hard to ensure that our 2nd annual event is awesome!

If you haven't looked at our list of prizes under our post "Save the Date", you have to check it out! We have added a lot of new prizes this past week. Raffles are a simple inexpensive way to contribute to our event even if you can't attend that day ($1 each or 6 for $5). No presence is necessary to win and with the overwhelming list of prizes, your chances are great at winning a fantastic prize! So contact one of us or visit a Phoenix Perinatal Associates location for your tickets:

Mesa: 1840 S. Stapley Dr. Ste. 131, Mesa, Arizona 85204. Phone: 480-969-5999.

Chandler: 600 S. Dobson Rd., Ste. D34, Chandler, AZ 85224. Phone: 480-857-0047. (open M/T/Th)

Scottsdale: 10210 N 92nd St Ste 105, Scottsdale, AZ 85258. Phone: 480-661-1332.

Phoenix: 3877 N 7th St Ste 400, Phoenix, AZ 85014. Phone: 602-257-8118.

Watch next week for another fun giveaway we'll do for those of you who haven't gotten your tickets as well. Thanks everyone for your support! See you soon!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Winner of our Giveaway (Kooper's Story)

We want to thank ALL of you that participated in our giveaway last week by either sharing the story of your babies or buying your breakfast tickets for our upcoming fundraiser in honor of National Infant Loss and Rememberance Day. I know it's not always easy to share such precious memories and tender times and I want you to know that we don't take this lightly and consider it an honor that you would share your babies with us.

We had our drawing last night at our meeting and the name that was drawn was:

We contacted Kami last night to let her know that her name was drawn and she was willing to let us share the story of her son with you. We want to thank her for supporting us by both sharing her story and getting her breakfast tickets as well!


"I was so excited to be pregnant. I had a 2½ year old little boy and couldn’t wait for him to have a sibling. I was almost done with school and ready to have another baby in the family. My pregnancy was great and Kooper was such a mover. We called him our little monkey. My best friend (Jenna) and I were pregnant and only due 3 days apart. It was so fun to have someone to talk to that directly related to what I was feeling. She found out she was having a girl the same day I found out I was having a boy. We had so much fun being pregnant at the same time. We really wanted to have our babies on the same day. We had the same doctor and told him of our plan. My friend was definitely going to have her baby before me with the way she was progressing. I carry high and don’t really dilate so it wasn’t looking good on my end. The doctor sent me in to get the baby measured on July 1, 2008. We got to see our little monkey moving all around. Everything looked great. He wasn’t too big, so I wouldn’t be induced like I had hoped.
July 3rd came and Jenna and I were both having contractions. We both ended up in L&D, but unfortunately I wasn’t dilating so they sent me home although my contractions were consistent. My friend Jenna got admitted and ended up having her baby girl on July 4th. I was jealous and couldn’t wait for Kooper to come.

The following day I didn't really have any more contractions. So I just decided he would come when he wanted to. I prayed and prayed he would come soon. I had a doctors appointment on July 7th. Everything seemed fine. I was scheduled to be induced the following Tuesday. It was perfect. My Mom and sister would be flying in on Friday and we would get the weekend to spend with each other and then the baby would come. Thursday I was preparing for my families arrival and also for Kooper to be here soon. My husband Ryan got home from work a little later than usual because of the monsoon storm. I remember lying on the couch and Ryan coming in and then he asked me, “How’s Kooper doing?” That was when I really had to think back to the last time I felt him move. I started poking him and no movement. This had happened before. A few weeks before he wasn’t moving like he normally did so I went into the bedroom and laid in the dark poking him and he woke up. So I decided to try the trick I used last time. I would poke at him and moving from side to side. Still nothing. I started to get a little worried. I thought I would try to have something cold so I grabbed an otter pop out of the freezer, downed that. Nothing. I jumped (not literally) in the shower…that always got him moving. Nothing. I wasn’t too worried. I just wanted him to move. The thought of him being dead never really entered my mind. I called the L&D and asked if there was anything else I could try before coming in and they said to just come in. By now it is 11ish and we call our friends that live nearby…no answer. At first Ryan said to just go ahead and go and I tell him, “What if they have to do an emergency c-section and you aren’t there?” He says, “Right, we will bring Kade then.” Then I think of Kade already asleep and think about how I will get there and they are going to hook me up to the monitors and find his heartbeat and send me home. I tell him, “No, it’s going to be fine. I am sure I will get sent right back home. I will call you while I am there.” So off I went on my drive to the hospital. The whole time I was praying that he would move. I text Jenna to have her call me if she was awake. She was a new mom and I figured she was probably up with her baby. I wanted to tell her what I was doing and that I was hoping when I got there that they would check me and maybe I would be dilated enough to deliver. As I got closer I thought I felt him move but wasn’t sure. I even contemplated turning around but then figured I would go just in case, plus what if I was dilating and they decided to keep me? The roads were still pretty wet but it stopped raining and nobody was driving on the streets.

I got there and they didn’t waste any time. I didn’t have to pee in a cup or change into a gown they just put me in a room and hooked up the monitor. When the nurse was searching for the heartbeat I had no clue. My thoughts were, “Really you can’t find the heartbeat? How long have you been a nurse? It’s not that hard!” So she said she was going to have an ultrasound tech come up. I called Ryan and told him what was going on. The ultrasound tech took FOREVER! Probably because they knew the baby was already dead. I was optimistic. Ryan freaked out and was getting Kade ready. I kept telling him “It’s fine Ryan. I have a good feeling. I feel at peace and I am sure everything is going to be fine.” Now, I know what the feeling was. I know that Kooper was there with me. Telling me it was going to be fine. I am sure he had his arms around me telling me that he loves me and that it will be fine and I will make it through this.

The Ultrasound tech came into the room and was making small talk. Ryan was on the phone. He wanted to stay on during the ultrasound. She went right to his heart. I will never forget that image. There was no kicking or moving, there was a still baby. There was no beating of his heart. She typed "4 chamber heart" on the screen. I was hoping that they were still shots. But deep down I knew. I knew what it meant. I told Ryan that I think he better come now, trying to be brave, trying to sound brave so that he wouldn’t worry. He had already pretty much had Kade ready and in the car at that point and was on his way.

As I sat in the triage room waiting for results I prayed that what I just saw wasn’t what I thought. I thought "there is no way". "Not me!" "This isn’t happening to me." Bad things like this don’t happen. Then my doctor walked into the room with tears in his eyes said, “Kami, I’m so sorry!” It sounds lame but I said, “Tell me it’s not true!” I cried and I cried and he gave me a hug. We talked a little bit and Ryan called again. He was almost there. He asked what was going on and I couldn’t keep it from him. “He’s gone”, I said. Ryan didn’t understand and that is when I had to tell him that he died. Ryan was full of anger and sadness. I remember him saying, “We should have had him last week. No. I am so mad at the doctor!” I am sure he didn’t blame the doctor but he wanted to blame someone. Before he got there my doctor did an ultrasound to see if he could see any causes for Kooper’s death. He had good amounts of fluid and everything looked ok. Now we would just have to wait and see. Ryan got there with Kade and Ryan and I just held each other and cried. Poor little Kade was confused and not really understanding what was going on.

They induced me that night. I got an epidural to make me as comfortable as possible. Then they started pitocin and broke my water. The doctor was surprised to see that there was no meconium in the amniotic fluid. This means that Kooper wasn’t in distress before he passed away. It was finally time for me to push. Once the head was out they noticed that the cord was around his neck fairly tight 2 times. Then his body emerged and he was perfect. The one thing that wasn’t was the cord. There was a true knot in the cord that was tightened completely. You could see that from the knot to his body the cord was completely white. From the knot to the placenta you could see blood. So the knot must have tightened and completely cut off his blood supply. This brought back a memory from when I had Kade. I remember the doctor pointing out that Kade had a knot in his cord but it wasn’t tight enough to cut off blood supply. He also said that it looked like there had been a knot that had come undone.

The moments following his delivery were so special. I stared in awe at his perfect body, his head full of dark hair. He was perfect in every way. It felt like at any moment he was just going to start crying or breathing. We spent quite a while with him. The nurse bathed him and Ryan helped dress him in an outfit. We had a volunteer photographer come from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep to take his pictures and our family pictures. The hospital where we were at didn’t have much to give grieving parents. We got a little booklet to put hand and fingerprints on and they gave us a beautiful blue crocheted blanket. I so wish that they had the boxes from Lanee’s Legacy."

Monday, October 11, 2010

Giveaway for National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day

In October, 1988, President Ronald Regan, proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This Friday, October 15th, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. All of this was made possible by a woman named Robyn Bear who envisioned a day where grieving parents could come together in love and support from their friends and family. Also, a day where the community could better understand their pain and reach out to families who are grieving.

On September 28, 2006, House Resolution #222 was passed in the House of Representatives supporting the goals and ideals of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, the clerk read the following:

"Whereas each year, approximately one million pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of a newborn baby;

Whereas it is a great tragedy to lose the life of a child;

Whereas even the shortest lives are still valuable, and the grief of those who mourn the loss of these lives should not be trivialized;"

Soon thereafter they agreed to pass the House Resolution. You may visit the official website of this day at You can see the entire transcript of this day along with many other ideas of how you can remember your baby and commemorate October 15th.

The part of this transcript that really stood out to me was "whereas even the shortest lives are still valuable". Oh. . .how I agree!! These lives, no matter how short they are, impact those of us that they have touched in such huge way that we will never be the same. These little live are valuable and significant and should be remembered! I think it is so wonderful the work that Mrs. Bear went to to create this month and day (Oct. 15th).

So, as this month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States, we too would like to join in this national rememberance day.

There are two ways that you can participate in this giveaway that we are doing. Our fundraiser is vastly approaching in less than a month and I'm going to say it again of how important it is that you buy your tickets PRE-SALE! So, anyone that buys their tickets today through Friday, October 15th will be entered into the drawing. The second way that you can enter into this drawing is to leave a comment to this post or e-mail us with the story of your baby and that will also get you entered into the drawing. If you buy your tickets AND send us your story, you are entered twice!! We will do our drawing on Sunday evening at our meeting and post the results here next Monday.

Here's what you'll receive if you win. This is my necklace that my sister made for me. We will have a custom made charm that is in beveled soldered glass with the butterfly and YOUR BABY'S name on it that is identical to this charm. I wanted to show you the rest of my necklace so that you could see what it looks like. If you'd like my sister's information she will be happy to make you a necklace for it to go on, or, you can put it on whatever chain you would like.

If you haven't experienced a loss, this would make a great gift for someone you know who has, or, you can add your own baby's name, or, just have the charm without a name. It is a custom order, so you can do what you want. Good luck this week and get those tickets!!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Elizabeth's Story

I'd like to share a story with you about one of the mom's I've been so blessed to have met this past year, Rebecca Smith. I first met her at last year's 1st annual pancake breakfast fundraiser. She then came to one of our box making nights that we held at Phoenix Perinatal Associates. Now she is doing a wonderful thing to help Lanee's Legacy and I want to let you know how you can participate in it. Before I get to Elizabeth's story, I need to give you a few updates about the breakfast.

First of all it is very important that you buy your tickets PRE-SALE by clicking on the paypal button to the right and we will put your tickets in our "will-call" to be picked up on the day of the breakfast. OR you can now physically get your tickets at Phoenix Perinatal Associates office locations which are:

Mesa: 1840 S. Stapley Dr. Ste. 131, Mesa, Arizona 85204. Phone: 480-969-5999.

Chandler: 600 S. Dobson Rd., Ste. D34, Chandler, AZ 85224. Phone: 480-857-0047. (open M/T/Th)

Scottsdale: 10210 N 92nd St Ste 105, Scottsdale, AZ 85258. Phone: 480-661-1332.

Phoenix: 3877 N 7th St Ste 400, Phoenix, AZ 85014. Phone: 602-257-8118.

You can also buy your raffle tickets at these locations too. Our list of prizes is rapidly growing and we have added some great stuff this week to our list. Check out our previous blog post for our new items and remember you do NOT have to present to win!


When a mom receives one of Lanee's Legacy's boxes, it is always our hope that they will understand that these boxes were created by other mom's who have also experienced a loss. It is our hope that when they receive a box that they will know that they are not alone and that other's mom's have been in their shoes (even if they are not the same shoes), and have survived. For these reasons I also love to share other mom's stories on our blog. I hope that if you have experienced a loss that when you read these stories that you will feel that you are not alone and can somehow relate to these mom's who have also had a loss.

This is Rebecca Smith with her husband Brian and their sweet daughter, Elizabeth. She has forwarded to me the story of her daughter's birth in her own words which I'd love to share with you.

"Like every parent we were excited to be expecting our first baby together. I was a Physical Education teacher and the school year had just ended. I had only 2 ½ more weeks to go until our daughter was due. We had just enjoyed a relaxing Memorial Day weekend and I was feeling the need to get some last minute baby preparations completed. I had been having more Braxton Hicks contractions that day but did not think a lot of it. That night when I went to bed the contractions kept getting stronger and closer together. I felt I should wait until they were about 5 minutes apart which I had learned from my birthing classes. Within a 1 ½ hour time span they got too strong and close that I knew it was time to head to the hospital. So at 11:00pm Brian and I drove to Banner Desert to have our little girl. When we got there my contractions were intense and they had me get changed and got a monitor to check the baby. They were having some difficulties finding the heartbeat which had never been a problem in the past. They brought in an ultrasound machine and there were more nurses than normal in the room. Then the dreadful words came out of their mouth, they could not find a heartbeat. Our baby girl had died while I was in labor at home. The only probable cause the doctor could think of was the placenta had abrupt but I had no previous bleeding to warn me. Everything seemed like a blur, as we were waiting to delivery our baby that was not living and having to start preparing for her burial. The staff at Banner Desert Hospital is amazing and made the experience more bearable. We were able to deliver our baby girl at 10:25 am on May 30, 2007. She was 6 lbs 2 oz and 20 inches long. From how she had looked she had only passed about 12 hours before she delivered. Her body was perfect, she was beautiful, and she looked so peaceful. We named her Elizabeth, which means God’s Promise, Promised by God, and Consecrated to God. We cherish the memories we have of her and I am grateful that we received one of the special boxes. We were blessed to have a healthy baby boy just 11 months after we had Elizabeth and also have been blessed with another baby girl. Our trial of loss has been heartbreaking but we feel stronger as a family and look forward to the day we can see our precious girl again."

Becky and Brian Smith

Here is what Rebecca is doing to help Lanee's Legacy and all the information you need to participate:

A Special Fundraiser Offer From:

Becky Smith & Fitness Works Athletic Club
In Support Of Lanee's Legacy

Rebecca Smith and Fitness Works are happy to present the Fitness Works Fundraiser to help raise funds for Lanee's Legacy. You get a 3-month membership for only $20.00. It's a bargain you don't want to miss out on. Ask your friends, co-workers, or even your spouse to join you!

You say you already have a membership? Well, don't miss the opportunity to save big this year. This is a 2 for 1 fundraiser! Take a look at the 75 attached coupons from Local Area Businesses valued at $500.00. The total fundraiser package is valued at over $750.00.

ALL THIS FOR $20.00!

But Hurry! This fundraising offer ends Oct. 30, 2010!

Here's what you'll receive:

* 3-month full membership to any one of the 4 valley Fitness Works Athletic Club locations with no obligation to join.
* Includes 10-free Fitness works Club tans
* Includes 5-free Kidzone visits
* Includes 4-free Group PT Classes
* 75 value saving coupons from Local Area Businesses. (click here to view the coupons included on your fundraiser pass (East valley coupon sheet).

Your purchase will help Lanee's Legacy receive 50% of all proceeds from fundraiser sales.

Fundraiser Info:

All orders placed can be delivered immediately. Only 50 on hand, so hurry before they're gone.
Please make all checks payable to Becky Smith.

Contact Becky Smith at: 480.332.5134 or email:

For all additional fundraiser questions and information, please contact the Fundraising Team Department at Fitness Works Athletic Club.

Your Fundraiser Representative
Joel Marsden @ 480-710-5783

Thanks Rebecca for sharing not only your story but your time and efforts to help Lanee's Legacy continue to donate memory boxes to hospitals throughout Arizona.