DeLanee's Story

10 years ago, Becky and Tommy, were blessed to be pregnant with their second child. Shortly thereafter they learned that they were going to be parents to a little girl, but the probability of their daughter living for very long was extremely low. Their daughter was diagnosed with a condition called Dandy-Walker Cyst. The doctors believed that their baby girl would deteriorate and pass away during pregnancy, but much to their surprise DeLanee developed until 28 weeks gestation when she was delivered and lived for three hours. As you can imagine, these 3 hours was precious time that they spent as a family with their daughter taking pictures, bathing, dressing and holding her until she passed away in their arms. Upon DeLanee's passing, the nurses brought the family a box to put their daughter’s belongings in to take home with them. Because DeLanee was born in January the nurses were able to find a leftover Christmas box. That Christmas box became extremely special to them and they clung to it and the contents inside that held their daughter’s precious belongings as they left the hospital without their baby. It was because of this box that the inspiration for Lanee’s Legacy began. . .

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (giveaway)

First of all, I want to thank EVERYONE that showed their support by coming to our 1st annual pancake breakfast event and to everyone who volunteerd, donated and sponsored as well. It was a huge success and it would not have been possible without you! It was so wonderful to meet many of you that had wrote to us by e-mail and get to hear the stories of your sweet babies and feel the connection that has brought us together. It was such a great day.

We have already placed orders with our vendors for boxes and supplies and are very anxious to get started distributing them to hospitals and those that need them. As soon as we get the pictures back from our photographer we would love to share the highlights of the event with you.

Today, October 15th, has been proclaimed by the United States Congress as the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It's sad that a day like this needs to exist, but I am glad that it does. Healing does come through remembering. If you would like to visit the website of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day you can find it here.

Here, in Arizona, Banner Desert Medical Center has organized a "Walk to Remember" that coincides with the National Remembrance Day for parents to walk in memory of their babies. For those that are local and would like to participate in this event, it is this Saturday, October 17, 2009 at 9:00 a.m. at St. Timothy's Catholic Community Church located at 1730 W. Guadlaupe Road, Mesa, Arizona (between Dobson and Alma School).

I have done a little research myself concerning pregnancy/infant loss and wanted to share some of my findings:

- According to emedicine, in 2004, 2,246 deaths were certified as sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), accounting for 8% of infant deaths. SIDS is the most common cause of death in infants aged 1 month to 1 year.

- Also according to emedicine, the overall miscarriage rate is reported as 15-20%, which means 15-20% of recognized pregnancies result in miscarriage. Note that these are just the "recognized" pregnancies. Recurring Misscarriage Syndrome (RMS) affects more than 500,000 women in the United States per year.

- In the United States, there is approximately one stillborn baby for every 115 live births, which is roughly 26,000 stillbirths each year.

- According to the March of Dimes, in 2002, about 19,000 babies died in their first month of life(called neonatal death).

Simply put, many, many people are affected by stillbirth, miscarriage and infant death each year. If you are one of these people, I want to tell you that your babies life counts! I want you to know I grieve with you - and not just today. When I began this project 6 years ago, it was to validate a life. DeLanee was not alive for very long, but it was very important to me that she was not forgotten and to know that her life counted. The box I was given and everything inside it did just that. . .validated her life. It is my hope that anyone who receives one of our boxes feels that same way. That their babies lives count. Because these precious babies that are sent to us for only a short time are significant. They touch us so deeply and profoundly in a way that we will never be the same.

In honor of October 15th, Lanee's Legacy would like to hold a giveaway. Heritage House '76 is a wonderful company that is known as the "precious feet people". They have donated necklaces to go into our boxes for quite some time now and are a company that Lanee's Legacy loves. The saying that we use on top of the boxes is one about feet and we also include a metal plaque that goes on top of the box that has baby feet on them. So, the necklaces fit very well into our bereavement boxes. They have graciously offered to donate this brooch for our giveaway. We will also give you one of their matching necklaces as well.

By leaving a comment and sharing your story you are automatically entered into this drawing which will end tomorrow October 16th at 10:00 p.m. Anyone is welcome to leave a comment whether you are the parent, grandparent, aunt, friend, sister, etc. You are certainly welcome to continue leaving a comment and sharing your story after this time as we would love to hear from you.

So, I will start. . .

My name is Becky. In January, 2004, we lost baby #2 to Dandy-Walker cyst at 28 weeks gestation. We met our precious daughter at 12:54 a.m. where we bathed, dressed and loved on her for 2.5 hours before she passed. We miss her everyday.


Livin' La Vida Lanphear said...

My name is Stephanie and on November 9, 1993, when I was 35 weeks pregnant with our first baby, my husband and I were in a horrible car accident. I was severely injured, including a ruptured uterus. Because of the rupture, the placenta abrupted. I was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. Our daughter Jasmine was revived and put on life support, but died in my arms two days later. I was only able to spend about 45 minutes holding her as I was in the ICU and on a ventilator. I was fortunate that the doctors were able to save my uterus and after many years of trying, we now have been blessed with two sons. All of us miss her so much.
I read about your blog in the paper and was so glad to see what you are doing! Fortunately, someone at the hospital took pictures and and put together a few mementos, but I always wished I had more to remember her by. This will be our 15th year participating in the Walk to Remember.
Thank you so much for your work.

Grandma a/k/a Kathy said...

Hi Becky! I will be lighting a candle today in remembrance of my niece's little one who was born on Christmas day at 28 weeks and died January 24th. He will be missed and I only wish there was something like Lanee's boxes for her in Wyoming. She is very lost and very lonely without her little boy. Do you know if they sell the necklaces? I would like to get one for my niece. Miss you!

chloe's clan said...

Hi all, my name is Chloe. I think this day is very important to have. Everyone should be able to remember an entire life that is no more. I sometimes think of what my little ones would have looked like, was it a boy or a girl? Would he/she be like my other children or completely different? I lost a baby at 8 weeks from a ruptured tube (tubal pregnancy) that resulted in near death hemmorage. I then had a daughter at 35 weeks who has trouble with a feeding disorder and is supplemented on a stomach tube with formula. I then was pregnant with twins and lost one twin at 7 weeks or so. I knew I was pregnant with twins because I receive early ultrasounds to rule out another ectopic pregnancy. I was relieved at first because I didn't know if I could "handle" twins but then I felt guilty because that was my sweet baby and of course I could "handle" it. I wonder too if that was a girl or a boy. We had a healthy baby boy without his twin. Then I gave birth to my 3rd living child, a boy. I know I am extremely lucky to only have one functioning falopian tube and to have 3 living children. But that doesn't mean that I can't remember what could have been with my other two that never came to be. My heart is with every mother today.